Jerks

Here I am again posting about the mess in my life.I got a call from CPS today that since I refused to sign over my rites to my boys now that asshole wants my kid back.I can't believe this shit.He knows the only way he can hurt me is by using my kids.Now he wants me to pick and choose which child I want and which ones I don't want.This is such bullshit!CPS doesn't protect the kids.They don't give a shit about anybody but themselves.Tori is telling me to let her go back and get beat again and I have major problems with that.If I do she gets hurt and if I don't she will be hurt for me agreeing to his terms and choosing one child over the other.The boys will look at it the same way that she does and think that I picked their sister over them and that all they've been told all their lives must be the truth,that I don't want nor love them.I'm stuck between two huge boulders and can't breathe.I don't see any light in the matter no matter how I look at it.My heart is broke either way I go.I protect and keep my daughter and lose my boys or I let her be beat and lose all of them.WHY??????? There is no answer in any of this madness.This doesn't even scare her anymore cause she looks at it as he can't do anything to her that she hasn't thought of doing to herself.She feels the worst he can do is kill her then he can't hurt me anymore or her by using her to get to me.I'm so fucking lost at all this!!!!!Don't ask for anything you really want cause God will definately give it to you,not like you want it either.This crazy fucked up thing they so call life is for the birds.I AM SICK OF ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!