Confusion

I don't know what to think anymore.It seems like everything I do is the wrong thing.I'm the biggest Bitch to my daughter and I can't make her happy no matter what I do and it seems that now Mike is mad at me for the way I raise her.The hell with it all.I'm just going to say "fuck it" and let them run things the way they want.Tori is happy around everyone but me and now my fiance' is miserable with me too.Maybe I'm not cut out for this thing they so call motherhood.I can't talk to anyone in the house without them getting an attitude so I guess I'll just not talk at all.Tori feels like I'm no better than Gene or Misty so maybe I'm not.Maybe she would be better off without me trying to help her have a better life.Maybe Mike would be better off if I wasn't around to make his life so hectic and sad all the time.It feels like my worst nightmare has totally come back to haunt me again.God only knows if I will be strong enough to take it again.Now I understand why I turned to drugs and alcohol last time but,Fuck that!I'm not going down that road for anyone again.CPS has screwed everything I have worked so hard for AGAIN!!!God,why does this fucking shit happen to me over and over again.Does anyone understand this thing they call life and why they say it is so precious??????I feel like Tori is wanting either me or Mike all to herself and she will stop at nothing to get it.She cut herself while her lil bro was here and then tells me that she is jealous of the relationship that I have with him cuz I wasn't there for her at his age.How do you answer that question?Oh.I'm sorry I was too busy doing my dope and not caring about anyone but myself---how can I forget?It only gets thrown up in my face daily a couple of times.Maybe I should say i don't care anymore and let her and Mike have all the fun they want and keep my mouth shut like a good lil mom and housewife should.Follow instead of lead.Like that would ever work with me-me follow?????WHATEVER!!!!!I know Amy,you are probably shitting a few bricks reading this right about now but I could care less at this point.I'm tired of all the misery around here.I can't seem to make anyone happy anymore.If your reading this please don't harp on me cuz I have enough of that here.If you have any suggestions I will consider them but otherwise DON'T!!!!!