Tori's home,but for how long?

Well,here i am again.My lil girl got to come home with me this

past Monday and I have been soo happy.We are both trying to figure out how all this is going to work and scared shitless.We have to go to court for her on Monday to let her give her plea on a fighting ticket she got when she was with her dad.We also have to go and talk to the police and that has us both worried.There is alot that hasn't been straightened out yet so we are both trying to take it one day at a time and still get along.I have a lot to remember about how it is to have a kid in the house again.Don't get me wrong---I LOVE IT!!!!!! Her and I tend to do alot of clashing right now and it makes it hard on us both.She has been pretty much on her own for the last 2 mths and now thinks she can do whatever she feels like doing.I have to keep it in mind that I haven't been in her life for the past 9 yrs,but also can't let her have her way and run me over.Needless to say-I'm really making her mad right now.She is really trying hard to be a kid but hates to be told what to do and I fully understand how she is feeling cause I did the same things at her age.She is scared along with me that CPS is going to end up taking her away again and that will kill us both.She got to spend the day with her lil brother and had a blast.You would never believe that they just met for the first time.They are so happy together and he thinks she is just the best.I kinda think so myself.:) I love this lil girl with all my heart and I will do anything to keep her here with me.CPS has told us that they will provide us with all the support system we need and also they will pay for her schooling all the way to her masters degree in college.I can't believe this is even possible.All I can say is keep praying that God continues to work miracles in my life as He has been doing for me. I know that all things are posssible through Him!Till next time....God Bless!

Visitation

Well,I got to go see my lil girl this week and I was so happy.Things didn't quite turn out the way I was hoping but all in all we had a great time together.She had court and it was such a joke.The judge heard her father testify that he severely beat my oldest son by choking him and putting his head through a wall and the judge still sent her back to him.It is absolutely crazy.She comes back by plane tis Monday and hopefully CPS will take emergency custody of her when she lands.New allagations have come up that require immediate attention.When I got there and they went to get her for our visit I was scared and nervous as to how she would react to seeing me after 9yrs.She came around the corner and I didn't even recognize her due to she had dyed her her dark brown.She was sooo beatiful,of course;she's my kid.: ) We held each other so toght and I never wanted to let her go.We cried,laughed and played together the whole 2 days I was there.I'm still praying that in the end everything will work out for the best.All I want is for her to be in a safe and loved environment;whether it be with me or someone else as long it is not with her dad.Keep praying for us and hope things turn out for the best.I will keep you updated on everything.

Terrified!!!!

I'm going to see my baby for the first time in 9yrs tomorrow.April and I are leaving tonite so we can get some rest in a hotel b4 we go visit her in the morning.I'm a nervous wreck.I had to tell her we were coming cause she had a breakdown Thurs. They told her she had a surprise visit coming and she thought it may be her dad and ended up cutting herself again.I wish I knew how to help my lil girl so she didn't feel that cutting was the only escape from reality.Don't worry I will have lots of pics when I get back.I'm so excited and nervous at the same time.The last time I saw her she was only 3yrs old.Yikes!!!!!They also told her that she was leaving this week and I don't have the heart to tell her she may be going back to her dads.I am going up to Arkansas to try and fight for her in court Tues. so please pray that it all works out in God's will.Well gotta get packed so I will be ready to leave.Oh,almost forgot to tell you the story of me trying to get my travel permit.I put in for it on Thurs.And Mike told me to call Fri. To see if I could get it instead of waiting till Mon. morn.I freaked out when I was told I was denied due to non payment of this months fees,a whole $18.I was livid.I had to rush to get up there and pay my fees so another supervisor could over ride the first denial.I was scared to death that I would not get to go.Okay I gotta run for real this time.Till Wed.Smile....and pray.

Chance!!!

Here I am again letting you know how wonderful God has been to me.I was blessed by my little boy getting to come spend a few days with me at my house.It was soooo awesome!We had the best time together.I took him to the park alone the first day and we fed the geese and ducks.The geese got too close to him and he climbed on top of the bench I was sittng at and they kept getting closer to us till they were right on top of us,that's when I decided it was time to move.Then we went to the playground area and played for awhile.He saw that the train was running and we went to ride on it.He had a blast and so did I.The next day we all went back and fed the geese again,but this time Mike let Chance put his hand under his and the geese ate out of his hand.It was sooooo cute!We also took a cardboard box so Chance could slide down the hill on it.It was hilarious.He tried to get inside it to slide and ended up tumbling down the hill instead.Mike and I busted out laughing at him.When we left the hill we went over to play for a little while and Mike caught the picture of Chance and I playing.I didn't even know he was taking it but was so pleased with it when I saw it that I just had to put it up on here.I never dreamed that I would have him at my home and I was soooo happy having him here.God has really blessed me with having a great relationship with my son and his family.Sorry it is small text.Ooops!!!