Well here I am finally posting again.I received a message on myspace from my son,Jon,I was shocked.This is the one that hasn't wanted anything to do with me from the get go....now he wants to come live with me.I am so excited and scared at the same time.I don't know anything about him and all of a sudden I will have him back in my life....WOW!!!!!! God is GREAT!!!!!!! He and I have been talking alot since he contacted me.Lastnight we had a real heart to heart and it tore me up inside to know the bull that my baby has gone through and that he really has missed me but been too scared to show it due to his father(sperm donor).Jon seems to be a good kid but his father can't see that through covered eyes.All his father can see is "how can he hurt me?"....and he is using the kids to do it as usual.I always told myself that the world was round and one day he would turn the kids against him and he is slowly doing it one by one.I have a feeling that Nikko won't be coming to me anytime soon...he is the one with the most anger.I'm worried about Nikko cause now he is really confused.First he thinks his own mother left him and didn't want him.Now he finds out that the man he has called father all his life isn't his father and now the only siblings he has wants to leave him as well.He's a very confused kid and a very angry one too.It really scares me how he is going to react to his younger brother leaving.It didn't bother him about his sister cause all they did was fight anyway,but he is pretty close to Jon.Jon has been so sweet to me this past week getting to know me and so forgiving.All he wants is to have a chance to know his mom.He told me last night,"I know now that I have been lied to all my life and I want and need my mom." Yep......I cried!I will keep you informed on things around here as they occur,right now we are trying to figure out how to get Jon here with me.Any ideas are welcomed!!!!!!