Six Flags

Went to Six Flags yesterday with Amy and had a blast.We rode all the big roller coasters and she even got me on the Superman Tower of Power which terrified the heck out of me.The only bad part of the day was when we went to get on some of the big coasters and her son,Cody couldn't or wouldn't ride with us was that the staff at the rides were supposed to let him stay in line with us and crossover when we went to get on the ride.Well this did not happen.We went to get on Titan and the staff told us that we had to leave an 8yr old boy alone at the exit of the ride and they were not responsible for him.BULL!!!!Can't believe that that is even legal with all the crimes you hear about kids getting taken from everywhere.We were in line for 45 minutes without him.Then we go over to Mr.Freeze and they tell us he had to wait all alone again.Needless to say we are ticked off at this point.Amy ended up not riding it with us since we were not comfortable leaving Cody alone for that length of time.We got off there and head over to Batman---same issue but this time the staff attendant decided he was gonna terrify Cody into thinking he was gonna be forced to ride and he wasn't even tall enough.We all went balistic at this point-you DON'T scare our kid.Amy ended up talking to the head super of the ride and some others.She got taken to the exit of Batman and was told about a program that ALL rides were suppose to be complying with called "kid swap".What this means is when you have a child too short or doesn't want to ride a ride they are suppose to let you go with the child to the exit of the ride and wait for the rest of your party to go through the line normally and when they get to the ride they tell the staff they have a kid swap waiting.Then they let the other member of your party in and the child waits for them while they are on the ride.This leaves the kid alone but in sight for a whole 2 minutes if that.This is something that all guest should be aware of so that it doesn't happen to them and thier child.Please get the word out.Here is a few pictures of our day.

Dazed And Confused

Well,a lot has happened since I last blogged.My daughter got put in a mental institute,got out and went back home.It has been a really rough week.I did get to go spend some time with Chance though.He is growing up so fast.He graduates from Pre-K this next month and I'm not ready for him to start Kindergarten just yet.He is so smart.He already knows all upper and lower case alphabet and about 12-13 site words.On the other hand Tori is acting out as usual.She doesn't want to take her meds or do anything that she is told to do.She constently wants to fight with me and I have gotten to where when she is in one of her moods I just log off and let her have her moment.I have to back off cause she is really getting to me to the point that it is dangerous for me.I refuse to let her take me down that road of destruction again.I have been praying for guidance in my life on how I should deal with her.All I can do is be there for her if she truly needs me,not when she wants to play games.We have no idea what CPS is gonna do yet or if they are gonna do anything at all.I just want her to be safe and happy wherever that may be.I think I have gotten stronger when it comes to her cause I don't let her get to me the way she used to.I will always be there for my little girl and hopefully one day she will realize that not everything her father tells her or has told her is the truth.

My Babygirl Hurts

It is Sunday but I've had a really rough week.I went to see my youngest,Chance,this past Thursday.While I was there my daughter called me and told me that she had run away again.I was really sad for her cause she wanted me to come get her and I couldn't due to the law would've put me in jail for being around her.She got to talk with Chance and that made both of them very happy.As I was on my way back home I received another phone call stating that my little girl had been committed to a mental hospital by her dad for cutting herself 12 times.I'm not so sure what to do with her but I do know she needs to get out of her dads home.She called me yesterday and wanted me to come see her at the hospital and again I had to tell her that I can't.I'm really getting tired of letting her down.I just wished that there was something I could do to prove that I'm a good parent to CPS so that she could live with me again.Her dad hasn't been up there to see her or take her any clean clothes to wear.I am going to meet with one of her friends and buy her some clothes so she can at least have something.It tears me apart to know that she is hurting so bad inside that she feels cutting herself is the only way out.All I can do is pray that God will step in and give her some peace of mind and a strong heart.I will never give up on her for sure.I know in good time her and I will be reunited.If you are reading this blog ,please pray for my little angel.

Church day

I went to a new church this morning and really enjoyed it.I feel that if I don't get the spiritual support that I so desperatly need at this time in my life then I won't be able to make it through this ordeal with my sanity in tact.

Our screwed up system

We have such a screwed up system thats it's not even funny.My daughter is being treated like a dog and nothing is being done about it.Her father and step-mother found out she put a tattoo on her ankle and decided that she was a whore so they won't let her out of her room and are feeding her under the door like some crazed animal.CPS was called and informed about the treatment she is getting and came out lastnight to investigate.Her father told them a bunch of lies so now they are ordering her to go to a psych.She feels so helpless and is thinking of overdosing on anything she can get her hands on.I wish so badly I could just go take her out of the situation but I have no legal rights to her.She is still playing games with me but I feel if I cut her off that she will actually do something to herself and will never get the help she desperatly needs.She wants to come live with me but her father is making it impossible for that to happen.He keeps telling her and CPS that he is gonna put me back in prison for non-payment of back child support.I don't think he can since he terminated all my rights back in 2002.If anyone knows anything different on the laws in Texas,please give me some input.I'm soooo worried about her and want to do everything I can to get her out of the situation that she is in.

Helpless

Well today was not a great day at all.It all started with an email on myspace from my daughter stating that her step-mother slapped her 8 times and called her vulgar names.She also said that her dad is now feeding her through the bottom of the door,and not letting her have any of her things such as radio,tv,money she works for,etc..I then get a call from one of her friends telling me that she(the friend) has called CPS on Tori's dad and step-mom for the abuse that she is seeing on her.CPS calls the friend back to ask if she knew how to get in touch with Tori's biological mother(me).Turns out that my kids may be yanked out of their home and placed in foster care by the end of the week.CPS told the friend that even though my rights have been terminated that they can re-review me and I may be eligible to get them back.I'm soooo scared that this is gonna turn out the same way it did 9 yrs ago and my kids will still be in the environment their in or worse.My mind is racing so badly.My daughter wants to come live with me,however my boys want nothing to do with me since they have been fed so many lies about me and that i don't want nor love them.I want my kids more than anything in the world and I'm praying that this is Gods way of giving me that second chance with them.Dear Lord,I'm sooo scared and need guidence.My daughter is terrified of her father since as soon as he hears the message on their machine he will know it was done because of her and the way she is treated.If you have any advice or thoughts,please give them to me.

She's driving me mad!!!

Well Tori got back in town from Mississippi and pulling her same old stuff.She stole beer and some other things while her dad was sleeping.She was with another boy and almost went to jail over him.I don't know what to do with her cause one minute she wants me to be her mom and the next she doesn't.She pulled this," you we're never there crap on me today and just wants me as a friend".She also came home with this kids name tattooed on her.God,she's only 12 yrs old and acting like an adult.I want so badly to just go get her and beat her butt,but i can't.She's pulling my heart apart and I almost want to stop the conversation with her,but I also want her in my life forever.Lord,what do I do?Please give me some guidence in this matter.I love my daughter very much and want the best for her.She isn't getting it where she is currently at and I don't want to do anything to make her hate me.I just want her out of that environment and safe where she will feel loved and wanted.Tori is such a beautiful little girl and she feels like she has to use her body to be loved.Why Lord?I know I'm not suppose to ask ,but I'm so confused as to why this is happening to my little girl.Please give me some answers.She's smoking drugs she doesn't even know what they are and being so reckless with her life.

Vacation over

Today my fiance' went back to work.We did a lot around the house this week,but still have lots more to do.I really enjoyed having him home at night with me and spending some quality time together.He is such a wonderful man.He ended up getting sick from me and once he was better I got a second round of it.Yuck!!!He refused to let me do anything around the house.He did the laundry,cooked,and took care of the kids(dogs).His father moved in with us this past week and thats been a real test for me and Mike.It seems to be working out okay for now.Well that's all for today.Till next time......

Sick

Well it's Sun. and I have been sick for 3 days now.Sux...I haven't felt like doing much of anything not even watching t.v.I'm patiently waiting for my daughter to get back in town so I can find out how she is doing and how the trip was.My fiance' is on vacation this week and we are doing some repairs on the house we are trying to buy.I never realized just how much work it is to buy a home..

My crazy friend

This is my crazy friend.I'm new to the computer world and she loves laughing at me when I have to call or text her with questions on how to do something.I love her so much.She means the world to me.

My son

This is my youngest son,Chance.God has really blessed me with him.I lost him at birth,but the adoptive family contacted me when he was 2yrs old.I now have a wonderful relationship with him.I wished other mothers who lost thier children could be as blessed as I am.

My Daughter

I just receantly found my daughter after 9yrs.I really don't know what to do,she is only 12yrs old and I found out that she just got out of juvinile after being there for 2mths.She went for running away from her dad's.I also found out that she cuts on herself and may be pregnant.I'm about to lose my mind.I don't have any legal rights to her nor any of my other children.My oldest son wrote me on myspace and cussed me out ro
yally.He wants nothing to do with me and won't even give me the opportunity to give my side of the story.My kids think I left them and don't love them,which is not true.Their crazy father has filled their heads full of so much crap and I'm afraid that I will never be able to see my boys.This is killing me inside!